Day 35

Forgive Others, Even As God, For Christ’s Sake Forgave You

Roger and Eileen Himes

For a counselor, forgiveness is one of the hardest things we deal with. When we human beings are personally hurt by someone else, and especially someone close, respected, and in a ‘position of trust,’ we have a VERY hard time forgiving. This is the subject of many books, some of them good, and some inadequate. I have 5 pages. How can I possibly share anything meaningful in so short a space?

I can, because the gospel makes everything easier. You will see this on day 36: the subject is GRACE. Paul says the gospel of grace IS the power of God. There is good reason for this. But right now, the subject is forgiveness, which is also empowered by grace. So, today is really a prelude to the next day. If you live in the power of the gospel of grace, EVERYTHING IS EASIER. Most Christians do NOT live in God’s gospel power, and thus forgiveness is hard for them.

Let this question sink deep into your heart: GOD has never simply forgiven anyone! Why should YOU have to forgive?

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GOSPEL TRUTH #69

God does not ask us to simply forgive others. He asks us to forgive others AS he has forgiven us. Father simply doesn’t forgive in his own steam and power. Although he’s merciful, he’s also just. He CANNOT simply forgive, and be just. He forgives because of the finished work of the cross — planned before the foundation of the world. In other words, he forgives because of JESUS. We should also forgive because of JESUS.

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From the cross, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” We know Jesus forgave the people too, just as he did the thief on the cross next to him. But note: his first thought was for Father to forgive them.

Forgiveness is costly. It is not free. It cost Father the death of his Son on the cross to be able to forgive us. He doesn’t just simply forgive. Most of us know this theologically, but not so much experientially. If we did, we’d have a much easier time forgiving.

In fact, right up front let me say this: the degree to which you have difficulty forgiving others who have hurt you is like a red flag — it indicates how much you believe and live the gospel. For someone who believes and lives the gospel daily, forgiveness is NOT hard. But let’s look at some of the ramifications of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is designed to cost us something, just as it cost God a lot. Paul’s one chapter letter to Philemon is about forgiving Onesimus, a runaway slave who stole from him. Keep in mind that, in Bible days, slaves were merely ‘breathing machines.’ They weren’t even considered human, in many ways. An owner could kill his slave, without any consequence, because he was simply property.

In considering Paul’s request of him to forgive Onesimus, Philemon had to be concerned about many things. First, even if he didn’t kill, or flog him, Philemon undoubtedly had other slaves. What would his forgiveness say to them? Would it cause his other slaves to go AWOL, and steal from him? Second, what about the city in which he lived? What would his forgiveness say to them, and to their slaves? Would he set some sort of precedent for which he would suffer persecution? And third, what about his church? It was undoubtedly filled with other slave owners. Shouldn’t he consult them, and the elder board, to get support and consensus? He surely shouldn’t act alone. Like an appellate court, his decision had far-reaching consequences.

Besides, why didn’t Paul just DEMAND that he forgive Onesimus? That would take the responsibility off him. He could point to Paul, and passing the buck say, “He’s the great apostle.” But Paul didn’t demand that he forgive. Paul merely requested, leaving the responsibility for Philemon’s choice and decision squarely on his shoulders.

Grace often asks for difficult choices. It absolves us of liability, but not of responsibility. Review Day 4 on this, if you don’t recall.

What about this forgiving 70 x 7 times, as Jesus told Peter? Isn’t that a bit unreasonable? After all, that’s 490 times for the same thing. There must be a limit, isn’t there? The number 10 represents completeness — then we start over with 11. Jesus says we must do that 7 times — the total being 70. But that’s just the human part of forgiveness. Seven is the number of God’s perfection, which we must multiply the 70 by, to get 490.

Jesus means forgiveness isn’t something we DO if we walk The Gospel Road. It is who we ARE because of who GOD is in us. It is ultimately a lifestyle, not just a choice or a responsibility. As the gospel process works in us, our middle name becomes forgiveness.

In Ephesians 4:32 Jesus says to forgive one another, EVEN AS God, for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. In Colossians 3:13 he says to forgive one another, even as Christ forgave you — so do the same thing. In the next chapter Paul even mentions Onesimus, and says he is a faithful and beloved brother who is one with them.

The gospel gives us a DIVINELY EMPOWERED forgiveness: Father, forgive them. This is the way Jesus forgave. It begins in God. Don’t miss this: it does NOT begin in us!

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GOSPEL TRUTH #70

Responsibility becomes divinely empowered response-ability when we walk The Gospel Road, and live the process of God’s gospel truth.

When we truly see God’s forgiveness, we can’t hold it all. We are filled to overflowing with his love, forgiveness, blessings, mercy, etc. This forces us to overflow with HIS love and forgiveness — not with ours! To get things started, our first prayer is, “Father, forgive them.”

If we don’t give it away, it may KILL us. We may explode. This is the description Paul gives in I Thessalonians 3:12 we looked at.

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By the way, medical science says unforgiveness does KILL us — very slowly to be sure, but it is a killer, just like cancer. Jesus talks of being turned over to the tormentors if we don’t forgive. This is what happens inside our bodies when we do not forgive: it eventually kills us. And in the meantime, it destroys our health, causes us to live angry, and at odds with others. This alone should be reason enough to forgive. But God gives us so much more power in the gospel.

We looked at forgetting earlier. We never forget, as we think of it. Instead, what we should do is ‘superimpose God into the event.’ Let me repeat it the third time: we do this by saying, “Father, forgive them.” Initially, WE don’t forgive! We accept HIS forgiveness — (1) of us first, and then (2) of the person who has hurt or wronged us. The degree to which you have difficulty entering into this, shows the degree to which you have NOT experienced the power of God’s gospel — his grace — his love — his peace — his righteousness.

It’s not a matter that I MUST forgive. It’s a matter of, “Woe to me if I don’t forgive.” It’s about me and my oneness with Father, much more than it is about me and my conflict with any human being. Paul didn’t have to preach the gospel, but he said, “Woe to me if I don’t preach the gospel.” The gospel was WHO he was, and the more of the process of the gospel you rest in — like the fast flowing river we discussed — the more it becomes WHO you are. It becomes your light, love, and life. Paul told Philemon that he owed his LIFE to him. The gospel truly is our LIFE when it becomes the power and process of God in us. NOTHING is of ourselves. Jesus says, “Without me you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5).

Without Christ’s gospel, we definitely have trouble forgiving!

Without the gospel (The Tree of Life), we live by The Tree of the Knowledge of Right and Wrong — Good and Evil. Here, our focus is on the wrong done TO us. Living in the gospel our focus is on God IN us.

We have an innate conscience and subconscious mind that is very justice focused. We know that for any WRONG, someone has to PAY. It’s the law of sowing and reaping — cause and effect, in our horizontal, worldly dimension. Justice requires judgment. There is a PRICE due for the wrongs that are done, especially to US. Lawyers and counselors are known for transferring blame: making someone else PAY.

The truth is this: JESUS PAID THE PRICE, 2,000 years ago.

Our forgiveness must begin by our considering Jesus’ promise to us: we will be offended by people (Luke 17:1). Period. Take it to the bank and cash the check. It’s what life is all about. At this point, life becomes a TEST: what do we do with offenses? First, I told you I began PRAYING for them about 10 years ago! If they’re going to come anyway, why not? I want God send HIS offenses to test me, because I trust him.

Now, let me counsel you in God’s LAW, as it pertains to forgiveness. First of all it is not an elective. Forgiveness is not a choice we have to make as Christians, — especially if live a gospel empowered life. It must become our middle name: it must become who we are. It’s our response to God’s ability and power in us.

Second, don’t miss this: forgiveness is a LEGAL transaction. As a lawyer, when I saw this, it helped me more than I can begin to tell you. It is not your forgiveness that get’s the job done. It’s the forgiveness of god flowing through you that gets the job done: “Without me you can do nothing.” What God wants you to do, in response to his truth, is to make ‘the legal decision’ to forgive, based on the blood of Jesus, for the person who offended you. Then you can approach God in a clean conscience. You can tell him you don’t feel like forgiving that dirty rotten bum one bit. But then you tell God, based on the finished work of Jesus, and because of your ONENESS with him, you want him to forgive the person through you.

We view forgiveness emotionally, when it should be seen as a legal transaction! It’s not only a legal transaction, but when it starts here, it is much easier. If you try to approach it emotionally, you remain a victim. If you approach it legally, you become a victor. The first way you remain ruled by the event — it has ownership over you. The second way you are the ruler over the event. You enter into God’s legal transaction: his SATISFACTION OF JUDGMENT was nailed to the cross. Jesus paid the penalty — for both your forgiveness, and the other person’s.

Do you know how God sees you when refuse or fail to forgive? He sees you standing at the foot of the cross and yelling: “Jesus, what you did wasn’t enough for me! I demand more!” Besides, if forgiveness bought on the finished work of the cross wasn’t enough for others, then it wasn’t enough for YOUR forgiveness either. God’s forgiveness is an ALL OR NOTHING legal transaction. It’s all based on the blood of Jesus. Coming into this, personally and emotionally, may take more time. But you have been obedient by entering into the gospel process.

We must see this as well: it is not God’s LOVE that comes to us and says, “I forgive you.” God’s JUSTICE comes to us, because of the cross. Again, it’s a legal transaction, not an emotional one, — even with God. It becomes emotional, but it’s born in justice: the cross of Christ. We superimpose the cross into any offense. This is the way we ‘forget.’ This is also the way God forgets our sin. Jesus came for our sin, and became sin for us (Rom 8:4, II Cor 5:21). Father superimposed Jesus for us.

We’re told, “As Jesus is, so are we in this world.” We take HIS justice and pray as he did: “Forgive them, Father.” We take HIS finished work — and as we saw in the prior day — we BLESS someone else with it.